You Dipshit
by TayoFiction
Summary: Victoria and Max join a Latin dance class to get ready for a ball being hosted by the Chases. Fast and easy, right? Well, it would be, but... (One-Shot)
It's a whopping 39 degrees outside and the wind is being a bitch, continuously slapping Victoria in the face and giving her an afro.

Clenching her jaw and pushing her chin into her collarbone, she hurries down the sidewalk and into an open doorway with crossed arms holding shopping bags. Victoria punches the call button for the elevator and slowly makes her way up.

She's trying to tame her hair back down when she's opening the door to their loft, but is promptly distracted when she hears the Santa Clones blaring throughout the apartment.

 _Oh my god, not this shit again._

Dumping the bags onto the kitchen counter, Victoria strides into the living room and would've flushed with embarrassment if this hadn't been going on for weeks now.

With a controller strapped to her wrist and Santa rocking out on the TV, Max follows his moves, bouncing on one foot with the other leg swinging around and strumming an air guitar.

Max has her back to Victoria and doesn't hear her come in, so she just about trips over herself when Victoria struts into her view to turn the Wii off.

"Wait, don't!"

The screen turns black and Max flings her arms up and flops back onto the couch.

"I was finally going to get five stars! A high score!" Max huffs out, staring defiantly at Victoria.

The blonde rolls her eyes. "There's no real dance to that song. It's just a bunch of mindless jumping around. It's a little sad you didn't get a high score the first time you tried it."

Victoria is a little surprised Max only blushes a little and remains eye contact with her.

When she doesn't say anything, Victoria walks over to the shopping bags and drops them in front of Max. The shorter girl jumps a little – _god, she's so jittery_ \- and inspects the bags.

"What is this?"

"Essentials."

 _Way to be cryptic, Tori._

"Essentials for what?"

"Dancing."

Max looks up at Victoria who's staring down at her with crossed arms. Her jaw moves up and down but no words come out. Victoria runs a tongue over teeth and begins sorting through the bags, lining up the items on the coffee table. A black Sweetheart dress, a black Fringes dress, and two Supadances with 2 inch heels. Max figured the total was well over $1,000.

Victoria is snapping her fingers in Max's face when she finally looks away from the fancy attire.

"Wait, why are we dancing?"

Victoria gives Max a look of disbelief and throws herself onto the couch next to the girl. Max subtly notices their thighs touching.

"Are you serious? I told you about this last week!" Victoria screeches. Max merely gives her a shrug.

"Oh my god," she huffs, "Ok. Remember when I said my parents are hosting a ball at the Chase Space?"

"…"

Victoria has to chomp down on her cheek to keep from smacking Max upside the head.

"Of course not… Anyways, my parents are throwing a ball to celebrate Trump winning the Nevada caucuses-"

Max groans loudly and buries her face into the couch cushions over Victoria's lap. Victoria hums in agreement, rubbing Max's back.

"I know, babe, I know. This country is going to shit. But we have to go, otherwise my parents will take away my money and then we won't be able to move to the UK if Trump wins."

"Or you could just get a job like the rest of us." Max's voice is still pressed into the couch so she can't see Victoria's death glare, but she can feel it burning through the back of her skull.

"I'm going to ignore that for your sake." Victoria says, slapping Max's ass a little for emphasis.

"Clearly _Just Dance_ isn't cutting it, so I got us signed up for some lessons."

"What kind of lessons?"

"Latin dancing."

Max pushes herself up swiftly, almost smashing into Victoria's face.

"Latin dancing!? Why!?"

"Jesus, watch yourself! And because most ballroom parties use songs that work with Latin dances. I'm not about to have you embarrass yourself in front of my parents, especially when there could be famous photographers there."

 _She has a point there, Max. Fuck, her parents already think I'm pathetic as is. Maybe I really do need dancing lessons…_

"Fine. When are we starting?"

"Tonight."

Max didn't know what to expect walking into a dance class for the first time in her twenty-two years of life. When Victoria opened the door for her and Max walked in, she was surprised to see a dozen or so people already there.

"Are we late?" Max whispered dramatically, leaning into Victoria.

"No, we're actually fifteen minutes early. They must be practicing to themselves."

Max looked back at all the "couples" dancing together. Most of them looked around her age, maybe older. She spotted an old couple slowly moving together, one of the men spinning the other around, broad smiles on their faces. Max vaguely wondered if one day that would be her and Victoria…

"Oh, god."

Max was brought back from her fantasy and looked at Victoria, a deep frown set on her otherwise beautiful face. She followed her gaze and immediately understood the sudden change in Victoria's attitude – not that it was ever much different but…

Quickly approaching from the other side of the room and bumping into some people on the way was Warren, followed by a pissed off looking Brooke.

"Oh, god." Max followed suit.

"Max? Hey, Mad Max!" Warren was waving his hand wildly to grab their attention even though he was literally right in their line of sight. Brooke, poor Brooke, tried to hide her blushing face in her hand.

"I swear to all this is holy – sorry, Kate – I will rip him a new one if he bothers us the whole time," Victoria practically growls under her breath.

"Hey, be nice. We only need this class for, what, two weeks? How much harm can he do?" Max whispered while putting on a smile and waving back at Warren. Even as she said this, she knew just how obnoxious Warren could be. Hopefully Brooke could rein him in.

Warren finally made it into their personal space.

"Max, hey! You're taking dancing lessons, too?" Warren exclaimed, staring expectantly at Max with a huge grin.

Victoria crossed her arms with a huff, tapping her foot. "No shit, Sherlock."

"Oh, uh, hi… Victoria…" Warren had only ever been around Victoria because of Max, choosing – wisely – to stay away from the tall blonde since his days in Blackwell.

Victoria only nodded curtly at him. Well, that was usually how their greetings went.

"Oh, hi Warren. Yeah, Victoria and I are trying to get ready for a ball. Why are you and Brooke here?" Max awkwardly smiled back, inching closer to Victoria.

Brooke joined Warren at his side and wrapped a hand around his forearm, nodding to Victoria and Max. _God, was she still wary of Max stealing Warren?_

"We wanted to do something different instead of playing games all the time. Our anniversary is coming up." Brooke stated, pointedly looking at Max.

Max smiled sweetly, grabbing onto Victoria's bicep and squeezing subtly. A rush of warmth shot through Victoria but she remained stoic. She would never admit how much it turned her on when Max got possessive.

"That's cute. Congrats! Well, Victoria and I should probably start getting ready so… good luck?" Max rushed out, trying to inconspicuously push Victoria towards a free spot in the room.

"Oh, there's a spot by us! You guys could dance with us!" You could practically see Warren's invisible tail wagging.

 _Oh, sweet Jesus._

Everyone but Warren inwardly groaned.

Max laughed awkwardly, trying to think of a way to reject Warren's proposal that made sense. She looked at Victoria for help, who was starting to get wrinkles from frowning for so long.

Victoria, to everyone's dismay, couldn't think of anything either. So she and Max gathered their things and followed Warren and Brooke like they were walking the Green Mile. Max jumbled their things together and chunked it near the wall, next to Brooke and Warren's stuff; Victoria yelped and smacked Max's arm. The teacher finally arrived, followed by a woman, and strutted to the front of the class, clapping his hands loudly to get everyone's attention.

"Hello, everybody! How are we all doing today?" He had a thick Spanish accent and a wide grin.

Victoria found the guy to be a little too cheery for her liking, and the rest of the class must have thought so, too; except Warren, who answered with an enthusiastic "good!" Max, her cute introverted self, gave a small smile. Victoria and Brooke kept their usual resting bitch faces on.

"Great! My name is Ricardo and this here," he gestured to the lady next to him, "is my dance partner Elba. Today we are going to be teaching you the Merengue."

Max dozed off a little as the lady went on about the origins and history of the dance, at least until Victoria pinched her butt. Damn her for making Max wear skin-tight yoga pants, the blonde was enjoying the sight too much – she had an inkling Warren was, too.

"- put your feet together with your hands on your waist, standing up straight-"

"Max! Pay attention!" Victoria hissed into Max's ear. Max had half a mind to jump Victoria right then and there. She probably wouldn't mind anyways.

"Now bend one knee at a time. Move with the drum beat."

Victoria and Max focused back on the lesson and got into position, dancing along with the rest of the class. Neither could deny how awkward it felt, and probably looked, but Victoria, thanks to years and years of pretending, was able to ignore it. Max was a little more open about her feelings, and it definitely showed right now; her face steadily changing skin tone to a red hue . Brooke looked like a robot, her knees knocking around, upper body staying in place, and stone-cold bitch face resting. Warren had no shame and was moving his knees much faster than the beat, a huge grin shining through the dark clouds around him.

"Now, start moving forward by dragging your feet. Be sure not to exaggerate your hips!" Ricardo lectured, eyeballing Warren at the end.

The class starts shuffling forward, some slower than others and vice versa. There were some giggles floating around as people bumped into each other and quickly readjusted in embarrassment.

"Now backwards!" More shuffling ensued. Max, to her surprised, was starting to enjoy this, especially watching Victoria being so serious while looking ridiculous; she struggled to keep her smile down.

"Here comes the fun part! Keep moving your knees, but now pretend you have a partner. Bring your arms up and place one hand where your partner's shoulder would be, and the other on the lower back. Now move your shoulders up and down along with your knees."

Max knocked elbows with Victoria and held back a laugh. Victoria looked over at the short girl and smiled but her eyes were drawn up to the other side of Max, at Warren, who was also looking at Max. He noticed Victoria looking at him and jumped slightly, quickly facing forward and continuing dancing; he could feel Victoria's death glare burning through the right of his head and Brooke's on his left.

The instructors then turned to face each other and moved to dance together. "When dancing with a partner, be sure to leave space in-between you two and positioned in the middle of your bodies, that way your knees don't knock together."

 _'Unless you both have giant titties…'_ Victoria smirked.

"So grab your partner and we can show you how to dance with them."

To everyone's surprise, even the instructors, Warren had his arm around Max's shoulders in an instant, pulling her into him. Victoria didn't even have time to turn to Max.

"Oh, uh… Warren… uhm… I don't - " Max tried to get out, taken by surprise and weakly pushing off of the boy.

"Wanna partner up with me, Maximus? It'll be fun!" If only Warren could see how overbearing he could be. How did Brooke deal with him? He left no room for objection.

Victoria, and Brooke, could only gape at Warren, eyes filling with rage from the lowest level of Hell, both looking about ready to skin him alive.

But the instructors continued on and the leftovers had no choice but to partner up. It was an odd pairing. Who would've guessed that the salty drone-obsessed Brooke and the bitchy pretentious Victoria from Blackwell would, in four years after graduation, would be holding hands and dancing together?

They moved to stand in front of each other and merely glared. Victoria assumed the leading role, of course, and grasped Brooke's hand tightly, her right hand digging sharp, manicured nails into Brooke's lower spine.

"Ow! Jesus, watch it!" Brooke fired back and dug her own nails into Victoria's hand and back. Victoria flinched and scowled down at her partner, pushing her nails further into Brooke's skin. This wasn't going so well.

Warren and Max, to her dismay, got in position as well and started following the instructors, Warren shuffling Max backwards, holding her softly. A half-turn came up, and the class starting moving the opposite way.

Max had kept her eyes at Warren's collar bones, not enjoying how gently Warren was handling her. She glanced up and regretted it instantly; Warren was smiling down at her, his eyes showing years of an unrequited love (deep crush). Max merely smiled back and quickly moved her eyes to Victoria and Brooke. It was very obvious, even to strangers, that those two were not on friendly terms and seemed to dueling it out while still dancing together. The brunette glanced at Victoria's hands and sighed, wishing they were on her body instead of Brooke's, Warren's hand were a little clammy.

She must have telepathy because right then Victoria ignored Brooke's claws and focused on Max. The two lovers stared at each other, both sighing solemnly.

"Now do another half-turn and you should be back where you started." Everyone's attention now moved back to the instructors. "Another fun part is the spin! Everyone loves a good spin."

 _'Fuuuuuuuuu - '_ Victoria, Max, and Brooke groaned.

"The lead will keep a loose grip on their partner's hand and move their palm inwards while the follower begins to spin. Be sure, followers, to keep your elbow down so that you can follow your arm while being spun. Same thing for when the leader spins. Let's practice."

Victoria and Brooke bickered over who was going to be the lead, despite knowing they both can spin. Max just went along with Warren instead of arguing, not that she could really spin Warren anyways unless she miraculously grew a few inches to get her arm over his head.

"So how are you and Victoria? You guys have been dating for a while now, huh?" Warren asked.

 _Huh? Why is he asking this?_

"Uh, we are fine. It's been about three years now. How about you and Brooke?" Steer the topic away from you, good plan Max.

"Oh, we're good! She's great. It'll be two years next month." Max was surprised at how cheery Warren sounded. She inwardly chided herself for thinking the worst with him.

 _Dog, I'm awful. I can't believe I really suspected him of still having a crush on me despite having Brooke!_

"We should go see a movie sometime! There's that new Marvels screen coming out and I got two midnight premiere tickets!"

Max looked at Warren, confused. "Me? Why not Brooke? Wouldn't she want to see it with you?"

Warren looked sheepish now. "Uh, well, I was kind of hoping to see it with you." Max squinted her eyes.

"You know, for old time's sake!" Warren rushed out. "Plus, you ditched me at Blackwell when you promised to go Ape with me."

 _I spoke too soon. Warren is and always will be a fool._

"Warren, that was years ago. And you should really stop worrying about me and focusing more on Brooke. She really cares about you and it's not fair to her for you to be - "

Warren suddenly dipped her, catching Max off guard and making her lose her equilibrium, losing her grip on Warren. Warren lost his grip on Max as well and ended up dropping her on her ass. Max yelped and winced, rubbing her sore tailbone. The rest of the class stopped dancing and glanced at her in sympathy, but no one moved to help. Except Victoria, who shoved Brooke to the side and darted over to help her girlfriend. Brooke noticed the situation and shook her head, feeling sorry for Max and pissed at her boyfriend.

"Max, are you okay? What the fuck, Warren! Too busy jacking off to Star Wars to work out a little!?" Victoria glared at Warren before softening up to Max, helping her up and checking for any bruises.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Max, Victoria. I didn't mean- I just- It was an accident. I was trying to do something fun." Warren stuttered, ashamed and embarrassed at all the looks he was getting.

"The dip isn't even in this dance! Maybe if you actually paid attention to the instructors instead of drooling all over Max you would've noticed, dipshit!"

Warren's jaw moved up and down but no words came up, not knowing what to say. Brooke put her hand on Warren's shoulder. "It was an accident. It's not like Warren would intentionally hurt Max, _right, Warren?_ "

 _'I bet she's going to give him a verbal beating later. Or physical. Probably both.'_ Max thought.

Warren gulped, feeling Brooke's nails digging in and her throwing daggers his way with an evil smile.

"Ok everyone, calm down. Let's finish up the class, shall we?" Ricardo moved to the group, palms out in a calming gesture. "Are you okay, ma'am?"

Max looked up at the instructor, a blush crawling up her neck. "Ah, yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." She scratched her neck.

Ricardo nodded, smiling back at Elba, and moved back to the front of the class. "Alright, let's do a little more practicing with partners and that'll conclude today's lesson!"

Victoria kept a tight grip on Max's waist, silently daring Warren to try anything again. Warren took the hint and moved to Brooke, rubbing his arm and looking down, still feeling ashamed. Brooke smiled sympathetically and held her arms out to him. Warren smiled back and got into position with her, the two moving together and whispering sweetly to each other.

 _'They'd actually work perfectly together if Warren would just get over his high-school crush on me.'_ Max thought.

Max noticed Victoria palming the back of her neck and looked over at her.

"You ok, Max?"

Max smiled at her girlfriend. It always warmed her up when Victoria showed her sweet side. She grabbed the blonde's hand and got into position, massaging Victoria's side with her other hand.

"I'm fine, Tori. Nothing a good massage tonight won't fix." She winked. Victoria smirked and wrapped her free hand around Max's waist.

"You know what they say: Massages always lead to –"

"No. No anal. I don't care how much lube you bought last week, my ass will not take that beating. Especially not now."

Victoria's shoulder drooped. She tried to pout but her face was more accustomed to making people flee in fright.

Max laughed and patted Victoria's ass cheek as they shuffled around slowly. "Don't worry. Just cause my ass can't handle it doesn't mean yours can't."

Victoria blushed and smiled in excitement.

Who cares about getting ready for her parents' ball? Right now her and Max have an appointment for some massages in the bedroom tonight.

Thanks, Warren.


End file.
